today,
I watched tv for 13 hours
stood in the cold until i couldn't feel my fingers
sat under my desk and refused to come out.
I don't want to deal with anyone, or anything really.

I am hesitant to check the mail because
it involves opening the front door.
I'm getting anxiety even thinking about it.
I don't want to be asleep, but
I most certainly do not want to be awake.

My phone rang,
it ended up shattered.
Please do not call me. I don't need to hear your voice.
My room is cold and I'm fucking freezing.
My greatest fear is that one day,
I'll come to the realization
that I just don't care at all.
Or rather, you actually care,
and this could be exactly what we both need.

I'm stuck. What can I say, or do?