i live on dix street

we called the house "Little Richard's" get it?

i keep making new friends and doing new things. i love life.

goodbye 17 comstock

i'm a week away from moving into a new house. i've lived at 17 comstock street since jan. 2007, so for 3 and 1/2 years.

today, i'm cleaning out most of the stuff i haven't touched since before i moved into the house. i was cleaning out my desk drawers when i came across everything from my relationship with cait that i had tucked away and forgotten about. it's now been 2 years since we've been broken up and it still feels like it was yesterday. i've been happy a lot recently, but i always miss her, and having my two best friends go through what they're going through now reminds me of the end and makes me despressed. I found the movie ticket from the night i asked cait out.the hills have eyes, friday 3/10/2006 at 8:20 pm. theater 17. i found the card cait gave me for my 21st birthday. these things among other stuff from 2 years ago made me cry for the first time in along time. i know, it's an old story, but i still miss her, or what we had, even though i know i'm never getting her back. i had something great and i thought that it wasn't good enough.

i don't know if i'm over her. i don't know if i will be. but past the melodrama, i just wish i knew what to do to not think about her anymore. because even if i throw everything away, even if i move to a different state, even after seeing a therapist, i still feel like i will still miss her.

and there have been girls since, but when i'm with them, i want to be with her, or i want things to be how they were with her.

i'm seriously surprised i don't drink.

oh well.

"most nights i just throw a movie in the vcr
and fall asleep on the couch and wake up tired
i try not to miss you
but i don't try very hard"

eight letters

The first letter I wrote you was way too long
Way too crazy, way too scary, way too sad
The second one I wrote you was way too short
Just said, "I love you, baby. Please come back."
The third one that I wrote you was right down the middle
Somehow it didn't quite sum it all up.
The fourth one that I wrote you, I did the best that I could do
We both know that was never enough.

I had nothing nice to say,
I said it anyway.
Somehow it made me feel better.
Oh, but in the end, I guess,
It was probably for the best
That I never sent you those letters.


The fifth one that I wrote you was one big, long joke
You probably wouldn't think was very funny
The sixth one that I wrote you was a strictly business note
Requesting you pay me back that last two months rent money
The seventh one was magic, it was totally romantic
it would have made your little boxer shorts melt
But the eighth time that I tried, I swear I couldn't even write.
I just curled up and cried all by myself

I had nothing nice to say,
I said it anyway.
Somehow it made me feel better.
Oh, but in the end, I guess,
it was probably for the best
That I never sent you those letters.