you've got spiders.

1. Today, i was driving through a wooded area and i remembered when i was a little kid, i used to think of that as driving through Jurassic park. you know how they drive through the dense forest? well as a little kid, i was so into JP that every situation like that i likend to driving through jurassic park.

and 2:

Dear xxxxxxxx,

this is a bit late, but truly needs to be said. Mostly because, i'm sure no one will ever get this chance to say something to you. I wouldn't even call this a chance, but whatever. Here it goes:

You are a liar. wow, it feels good to say that talking about someone other than me. I really thought that there wasn't a worse liar than myself, but i couldn't have been more wrong. I've met my match and lost. amazing.

Of course you don't think you are, i've found through my own personal experiences that addicts are often in denial. You use, better yet drain, the niceties of those who give you the time of day. you use your mother for money, you friend to make you feel not so much like a fuck up and your "boyfriend" for constant emotional support (you like how i put boyfriend in quotes? a real boyfriend would have been done with your ass after the 2nd time you cheated on him). You used me to fill a void will the man who was supposed to be your "one and only" was away training to be in the army. And truth be told, i fell for you, but i've been told you have that effect on guys, so i think i could be excused.

I wish i could tell you this to your face, but, in cowardice, you hide. you quit with out saying goodbye to all the people you work with. you really are only in it for yourself. you live your life in a constant state of mid-life crisis. always trying to convince others that you're the prettiest, that you can drink other under the table, that you've been around the block and back and therefore you are so superior to them. i really had never thought i would meet someone worse than me. you win. i made you smile, you made me smile, but it was all bullshit. seriously, you're a piece of work.

"...people learn from their mistakes, yeah we all get our breaks, but when its 20 breaks a day you don't get them from anybody..."

i would have loved to have been there when boyfriend saw the texts i sent you or you sent me or when best friend found out that we were more than just work friends. how you lied your way out of trouble there, i really want to know. but both of them are so wrapped up in your web of bullshit that you probably could have told them anything and they would have believed you.

and this bullshit you pull, blacking out everyday of every weekend. the first sign of depression. you don't go out to museums or to the park or any shit like that, you spend your weekends in dim, damp basements drinking until you pass out. when you do go out, you pop pills or do drugs. you can't live a sober life. 90% of the time i spent with you, you were fucked up. (i really want to tell boyfriend how you wanted me to fuck you so bad that night i picked you up wearing somebody's sweatshirt. you don't even remember, and of course i didn't tell you that you were begging for it and i kept on telling you that i didn't want to take advantage of you). one would think that getting a dui when you were under 18 would scare you into not being so fucking retarded, but i guess you need to be in jail or lose your license for the point to get through your thick princess skull.

oh, i want my sweatpants back. thanks for stealing them. and wasting my fucking time.

enjoy the south, that country music obsession will work well down there.

everyone told me stay away. but i'm dumb. whatever, i feel bad for boyfriend baldy, because i was like guy number 5 that you cheated on him with. i also side with that guy who was supposed to take you to prom who you weaved into your web too. fuck you. you were never worth it.

onto better things.

best wishes,
ran