goodbye 17 comstock

i'm a week away from moving into a new house. i've lived at 17 comstock street since jan. 2007, so for 3 and 1/2 years.

today, i'm cleaning out most of the stuff i haven't touched since before i moved into the house. i was cleaning out my desk drawers when i came across everything from my relationship with cait that i had tucked away and forgotten about. it's now been 2 years since we've been broken up and it still feels like it was yesterday. i've been happy a lot recently, but i always miss her, and having my two best friends go through what they're going through now reminds me of the end and makes me despressed. I found the movie ticket from the night i asked cait out.the hills have eyes, friday 3/10/2006 at 8:20 pm. theater 17. i found the card cait gave me for my 21st birthday. these things among other stuff from 2 years ago made me cry for the first time in along time. i know, it's an old story, but i still miss her, or what we had, even though i know i'm never getting her back. i had something great and i thought that it wasn't good enough.

i don't know if i'm over her. i don't know if i will be. but past the melodrama, i just wish i knew what to do to not think about her anymore. because even if i throw everything away, even if i move to a different state, even after seeing a therapist, i still feel like i will still miss her.

and there have been girls since, but when i'm with them, i want to be with her, or i want things to be how they were with her.

i'm seriously surprised i don't drink.

oh well.

"most nights i just throw a movie in the vcr
and fall asleep on the couch and wake up tired
i try not to miss you
but i don't try very hard"