reflection

its crazy. really it is.
thinking back on it, july 16th 2008 seems like it was more than just a year ago. its like, my life was on stand by and then, july 2008 hit and someone pressed fast forward. It feels like everything that happened just one year ago was decades ago. like it is a past life that i can barely remember. when i think 1 year, i don't think of it being a long time, but this year has been the equivalent of 10 years in my brain.
so much has happened.
i moved into a new room, i got a new dog, i got my CDL finally, i have dated a girl that was cheating on her boyfriend with me, someone who i thought would be around til i moved out moved back home and now i never see him, i became closer to brad, dave and erin than i ever have, i met an amazing girl named amanda, who became my amazing girlfriend.

this year has changed me so much. i'm happy to say it. i look back and i hate who i was. i hate that i abandoned all my friends and everything that i believed in because someone wanted me to. i'm happy i'm finally living my own life, and making my own mistakes, and learning from those mistakes.
to say that i wish 7/08-7/09 had gone a lot smoother is the understatement of the century, but i most certainly would not take this year back. i'm happy where i am, even if the road isn't always smooth, i'm getting to where i'm going. and that enough for me. i've stressed about everything in my life and all that got is more stress and less hair. so guess you can, i am my father's son, but hey, thats not really such a bad thing!
i'm making mistakes because if i don't then i wouldn't know what to do the next time the problem occurs. and how can you hate me for that.

i'm still an asshole, i'm still judgemental as shit, i still hate a majority of the people i meet. but i sure as shit am 100 % different than i was last year. and probably a little bit happier.