Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I know this is late,
I just spent so much time pining,
trying to figure out
what I did,
how it all happened.

I found girls to
fill the void,
the hole you left in my life,
but mainly I just wanted someone to fuck.
because I didn't feel anything
from anyone.

and you did the same thing.
and you fucked others.
and you got drunk.
and you moved on.

I stayed sad for a long time.
and I hate who I was for a long time.
I was ashamed of myself.

I still feel like shit sometimes,
when I think of it all.
But I'm sad that I let myself,
be so sad.

Because you can
go fuck yourself.
literally,
because I realized that,
while being your acrobat,
I forgot to be
my crutch.

so,
while you continue to
fake relationships,
I'm in search for
something honest.

and my quiet voice is becoming loud.
and it scares the hell out of me,
that your ghost no longer haunts me.

get a new job.