I know this is late,
I just spent so much time pining,
trying to figure out
what I did,
how it all happened.
I found girls to
fill the void,
the hole you left in my life,
but mainly I just wanted someone to fuck.
because I didn't feel anything
from anyone.
and you did the same thing.
and you fucked others.
and you got drunk.
and you moved on.
I stayed sad for a long time.
and I hate who I was for a long time.
I was ashamed of myself.
I still feel like shit sometimes,
when I think of it all.
But I'm sad that I let myself,
be so sad.
Because you can
go fuck yourself.
literally,
because I realized that,
while being your acrobat,
I forgot to be
my crutch.
so,
while you continue to
fake relationships,
I'm in search for
something honest.
and my quiet voice is becoming loud.
and it scares the hell out of me,
that your ghost no longer haunts me.
get a new job.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
a collection i guess. some of these are kinda corny and there's some grammatical errors
news
today, i was watching the news
and there was child on there
i think he went to some public school in new york city
and he couldn't form a sentence properly
but the school he went to was receiving an award for excellence
in education
and i thought to myself,
"maybe it's time to shave my beard."
but i opted to keep it.
fuck it.
Living Well Is The Best Revenge
1.
You try to stick knives in me
in my sides or back
but your stabs continue to miss
and become quite annoying
but i don't stab back,
i don't care enough anymore.
With the distance growing between us,
the happiness inside me grows.
the confidence you stripped me of returns
the manhood you stole from me reappears
my own voice is once again loud and important.
I'm not a new person, I'm an old person who had missing
for so long that people forgot he had ever been there,
some people never even knew him.
You were truly incarnate of the type of person
I can respect but never want to be.
so they say living well is the best revenge.
so I can say, I'm happy.
2
Terrorism
Moments before the bomb explodes
before American life becomes a memory
before we all succumb to the evils of the world
we will find each other standing there
Part of us will recognize each other,
and want to save us
but instead we move on
without a motion or a word.
Cone
I walk a thin line
and its getting harder and harder not to fall
the price to pay is getting higher
and I'm not sure if I can handle it
This has been my life
but how long does it have to take?
I want to make you smile
to be proud
So I take the long road laid out before me
with the best smile I can make
but I'm still scared,
I'm just letting you know...
the thousand mile fire
The miles ahead seemed infinate
the once golden/blue sky is now cloudy
the sun hasn't been out in days
and we fear that we will freeze
we fear we will starve
we fear the motives of others
We were all young once
some more so than others,
but now we are all grown up
no one wants to be this way
we want the clouds to be gone
we want to go to beaches and theme parks
we want to play baseball and basketball
we want to ride our skateboards around
we just want our lives back.
Some moved
some stayed put
but it doesn't matter much anymore
nobody counts age from 1 up and more.
life, age, birthdays, they are all a count down.
What is positivity?
We just want our lives back
A Short Glance
i've speant the last few nights up later than usual
a basic over-analyzation of the words
or the few short moments of silence
so here i lay.
early in the morning or late at night
however you would like to look at it
tv on mute, music on loud
pouring my heart into a few short words
a three hour thought process
turned into a few short lines
and every thought consists of you and i
good and bad
young and old
everything in between moment with every thats makes it worth everything
and yet i still lay, i am still writting.
and the world can keep its empty hearts.
cause i want to call this our bed.
but i can't even call this apartment my home
when i fall asleep, i really meet you at our spot,
but sometimes you dont show...
should i give up?
i hope you say no
things will get better if you give it time.
things will get better if i give it time.
things will get better.
my collection
1.
the last thing that she said to me was:
"you'll always mean nothing"
and these words packed a punch
i didn't quite expect
this exit wound
this unholy hole
2.
i'd much rather sit
and watch the planes land
than watch them take off
because watching them take off means
people are leaving.
it reminds me of the sting
of the death of my grandparents
or how i felt as i watched my dad
as he left New Jersey for good
or how every fight we have
she leaves
it reminds me of how imperfect everyone and everything is.
i want change.
so much so that i will give myself for something else.
3.
there are songs that still give me goosebumps.
but sometimes i wonder if it is because it is cold.
4.
Nothing.
at the start of the world there was nothing.
my theories say otherwise, but for the sake of this passage
there was nothing.
Life.
from this "nothing", life was created.
Aside from the trees and grass and all the wonderful vegitation,
there was a man and woman.
they coexisted with their environment.
but a darkness lived in this eutopia.
Evil.
There was large tree in the center of this beautiful place.
growing from this tree a fruit.
many theorize that this fruit contained the knowledge and power
of God.
but this fruit was forbidden.
Deceit.
one day, the woman led the man to the tree
"Eat the fruit," she said.
he was reluctant, but she finally convinced him that nothing will happen.
he ate the fruit.
as soon as he took the final bite,
and force came down from the heavens.
A voice.
without words, the man was banished from the garden, the beautiful place.
the woman was now content.
this is true in life.
there is no eutopia.
there is nothing, then life(for a short time of course), then evil, and finally deceit
5.
This Morning
isnt it wonderful
this morning
isnt it horrible
this morning
aren't we lost?
6.
Now that we've worn our masks
we're all out of ideas
so i guess this is a note to surrender
to say goodbye to what?
our eyes
7.
im hoping that this is all sign
that everything will be alright
that you and i
are two angels
holding hands, lightly kissing
i'm hoping that this isnt a sign
that we are going to tear each other apart
ripping limbs, eating the spare pieces
i hope we love
8.
i am running
not to get somewhere
not to get fit
not to be someone you want me to be
i am running
9. these wires,
only good to electrify
and illuminate
the goodnight kisses
and last goodbyes
for curatin calls
and the breaking of best friends
we walk in circles
10. in the spots our hearts were in
there are cars
and planes fly over our souls
we sold our bodies
for parking spots
11.no
never
not now
for god
for he isnt showing
12. the past is still here
lingering
in the darkest shadows
and we will hug again
but smiling is forbidden
today, i was watching the news
and there was child on there
i think he went to some public school in new york city
and he couldn't form a sentence properly
but the school he went to was receiving an award for excellence
in education
and i thought to myself,
"maybe it's time to shave my beard."
but i opted to keep it.
fuck it.
Living Well Is The Best Revenge
1.
You try to stick knives in me
in my sides or back
but your stabs continue to miss
and become quite annoying
but i don't stab back,
i don't care enough anymore.
With the distance growing between us,
the happiness inside me grows.
the confidence you stripped me of returns
the manhood you stole from me reappears
my own voice is once again loud and important.
I'm not a new person, I'm an old person who had missing
for so long that people forgot he had ever been there,
some people never even knew him.
You were truly incarnate of the type of person
I can respect but never want to be.
so they say living well is the best revenge.
so I can say, I'm happy.
2
Terrorism
Moments before the bomb explodes
before American life becomes a memory
before we all succumb to the evils of the world
we will find each other standing there
Part of us will recognize each other,
and want to save us
but instead we move on
without a motion or a word.
Cone
I walk a thin line
and its getting harder and harder not to fall
the price to pay is getting higher
and I'm not sure if I can handle it
This has been my life
but how long does it have to take?
I want to make you smile
to be proud
So I take the long road laid out before me
with the best smile I can make
but I'm still scared,
I'm just letting you know...
the thousand mile fire
The miles ahead seemed infinate
the once golden/blue sky is now cloudy
the sun hasn't been out in days
and we fear that we will freeze
we fear we will starve
we fear the motives of others
We were all young once
some more so than others,
but now we are all grown up
no one wants to be this way
we want the clouds to be gone
we want to go to beaches and theme parks
we want to play baseball and basketball
we want to ride our skateboards around
we just want our lives back.
Some moved
some stayed put
but it doesn't matter much anymore
nobody counts age from 1 up and more.
life, age, birthdays, they are all a count down.
What is positivity?
We just want our lives back
A Short Glance
i've speant the last few nights up later than usual
a basic over-analyzation of the words
or the few short moments of silence
so here i lay.
early in the morning or late at night
however you would like to look at it
tv on mute, music on loud
pouring my heart into a few short words
a three hour thought process
turned into a few short lines
and every thought consists of you and i
good and bad
young and old
everything in between moment with every thats makes it worth everything
and yet i still lay, i am still writting.
and the world can keep its empty hearts.
cause i want to call this our bed.
but i can't even call this apartment my home
when i fall asleep, i really meet you at our spot,
but sometimes you dont show...
should i give up?
i hope you say no
things will get better if you give it time.
things will get better if i give it time.
things will get better.
my collection
1.
the last thing that she said to me was:
"you'll always mean nothing"
and these words packed a punch
i didn't quite expect
this exit wound
this unholy hole
2.
i'd much rather sit
and watch the planes land
than watch them take off
because watching them take off means
people are leaving.
it reminds me of the sting
of the death of my grandparents
or how i felt as i watched my dad
as he left New Jersey for good
or how every fight we have
she leaves
it reminds me of how imperfect everyone and everything is.
i want change.
so much so that i will give myself for something else.
3.
there are songs that still give me goosebumps.
but sometimes i wonder if it is because it is cold.
4.
Nothing.
at the start of the world there was nothing.
my theories say otherwise, but for the sake of this passage
there was nothing.
Life.
from this "nothing", life was created.
Aside from the trees and grass and all the wonderful vegitation,
there was a man and woman.
they coexisted with their environment.
but a darkness lived in this eutopia.
Evil.
There was large tree in the center of this beautiful place.
growing from this tree a fruit.
many theorize that this fruit contained the knowledge and power
of God.
but this fruit was forbidden.
Deceit.
one day, the woman led the man to the tree
"Eat the fruit," she said.
he was reluctant, but she finally convinced him that nothing will happen.
he ate the fruit.
as soon as he took the final bite,
and force came down from the heavens.
A voice.
without words, the man was banished from the garden, the beautiful place.
the woman was now content.
this is true in life.
there is no eutopia.
there is nothing, then life(for a short time of course), then evil, and finally deceit
5.
This Morning
isnt it wonderful
this morning
isnt it horrible
this morning
aren't we lost?
6.
Now that we've worn our masks
we're all out of ideas
so i guess this is a note to surrender
to say goodbye to what?
our eyes
7.
im hoping that this is all sign
that everything will be alright
that you and i
are two angels
holding hands, lightly kissing
i'm hoping that this isnt a sign
that we are going to tear each other apart
ripping limbs, eating the spare pieces
i hope we love
8.
i am running
not to get somewhere
not to get fit
not to be someone you want me to be
i am running
9. these wires,
only good to electrify
and illuminate
the goodnight kisses
and last goodbyes
for curatin calls
and the breaking of best friends
we walk in circles
10. in the spots our hearts were in
there are cars
and planes fly over our souls
we sold our bodies
for parking spots
11.no
never
not now
for god
for he isnt showing
12. the past is still here
lingering
in the darkest shadows
and we will hug again
but smiling is forbidden
Saturday, May 29, 2010
i live on dix street
we called the house "Little Richard's" get it?
i keep making new friends and doing new things. i love life.
i keep making new friends and doing new things. i love life.
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