the only things i can take out of this second consecutive shitty year is that i'm extremely thankful for having my parents and my friends and my dogs. i'm just always on my way to becoming okay and i've hit a million bumps in the road but i'm still at it. i'll get there and when i do, i won't ever care again.
i'm just working at something that's giving me an amazing hard time.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
the long trail home
so originally i was going to post on how i was going to this famed vermont trail, and i guess in a sense i am still touching on that subject. I just wish it was happening now, that it was july now. that i could escape to somewhere where there isn't a cell phone, or a facebook, or a girl that drives me crazy, sometimes good, sometimes bad. i just want to be hiking somewhere, lost in the woods of vermont, eating berries and not having to deal with the bullshit of everyday life.
i'm really not sad anymore. i'm not. i'm so sick and tired of this death trap of a state. no matter where i go i can't escape all the past bullshit that i've got. i'm not sad, just agitated. just annoyed with humans as a whole. just sick of people who just don't care. it makes me realize that having 2 good friends and only caring about myself and them is all i really need. brad and i don't have to talk about the bullshit in my life. we just joke about stupid shit and are rarely serious about anything and i always feel better about life whenever i hang out with him. and erin is so level-headed and evens me out. and i could talk to her about anything and she'll always have insight, even if i don't listen to her advice. i really see that it's not worth it to embrace everyone, because most people will just take advantage of your kindness and use you and then just throw you away.
it would be easy to just not care and exclude people. and i really want to be that misanthropic person, but once i let someone in, once i put myself out there, it's not that easy not to care. i've never thought of myself as a caring person and i can be quite selfish at times, but i've always found it hard to hurt people and not feel bad. which sucks, i hate it. because i have the capacity to hurt someone and not give it an afterthought when i do it, but when it sinks in what i've done, i never let it go and a piece of me stays in the fuck-up forever. and i've had so many fuck-ups, that there's not much of me left. i've hurt a million people. my parents, my ex, my friends, my brother, my sister, various other family members. i just want to go back in time and get good grades and not disappoint everyone and not fuck up my own life and thereby not fuck up anyone's life who cares about me.
I want to go back to being a kid and not having a worry in the world. but even then i would have to go back to be like 4.
"cause i'm stuck here wide awake
in the wake of bad news
we know now what's at stake
and i'm scared too.
and you know i can't take naps cause
they end in panic attacks,
i can't play video games,
i always end up depressed.
i can't be left alone now
for even a second
i'm a burden
but at least i know it."
i'm really not sad anymore. i'm not. i'm so sick and tired of this death trap of a state. no matter where i go i can't escape all the past bullshit that i've got. i'm not sad, just agitated. just annoyed with humans as a whole. just sick of people who just don't care. it makes me realize that having 2 good friends and only caring about myself and them is all i really need. brad and i don't have to talk about the bullshit in my life. we just joke about stupid shit and are rarely serious about anything and i always feel better about life whenever i hang out with him. and erin is so level-headed and evens me out. and i could talk to her about anything and she'll always have insight, even if i don't listen to her advice. i really see that it's not worth it to embrace everyone, because most people will just take advantage of your kindness and use you and then just throw you away.
it would be easy to just not care and exclude people. and i really want to be that misanthropic person, but once i let someone in, once i put myself out there, it's not that easy not to care. i've never thought of myself as a caring person and i can be quite selfish at times, but i've always found it hard to hurt people and not feel bad. which sucks, i hate it. because i have the capacity to hurt someone and not give it an afterthought when i do it, but when it sinks in what i've done, i never let it go and a piece of me stays in the fuck-up forever. and i've had so many fuck-ups, that there's not much of me left. i've hurt a million people. my parents, my ex, my friends, my brother, my sister, various other family members. i just want to go back in time and get good grades and not disappoint everyone and not fuck up my own life and thereby not fuck up anyone's life who cares about me.
I want to go back to being a kid and not having a worry in the world. but even then i would have to go back to be like 4.
"cause i'm stuck here wide awake
in the wake of bad news
we know now what's at stake
and i'm scared too.
and you know i can't take naps cause
they end in panic attacks,
i can't play video games,
i always end up depressed.
i can't be left alone now
for even a second
i'm a burden
but at least i know it."
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The Appalachian Trail
So, I'm snowed in today, so i have nothing better to do than google random shit. I randomly came across info on The Appalachian Trail. I figure, at some point, I would love to hike the whole thing and camp along the way. It runs from Maine to Georgia. The route is as follows on the map, so yeah. I don't know, it seems like something to do, something awesome. I know this is really random, but i feel like i'm doing absolutely nothing with my life and this would be something, something big. who knows if i'll ever do it for real, but i'm just saying, i would love to try it.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
today,
I watched tv for 13 hours
stood in the cold until i couldn't feel my fingers
sat under my desk and refused to come out.
I don't want to deal with anyone, or anything really.
I am hesitant to check the mail because
it involves opening the front door.
I'm getting anxiety even thinking about it.
I don't want to be asleep, but
I most certainly do not want to be awake.
My phone rang,
it ended up shattered.
Please do not call me. I don't need to hear your voice.
My room is cold and I'm fucking freezing.
My greatest fear is that one day,
I'll come to the realization
that I just don't care at all.
Or rather, you actually care,
and this could be exactly what we both need.
I'm stuck. What can I say, or do?
I watched tv for 13 hours
stood in the cold until i couldn't feel my fingers
sat under my desk and refused to come out.
I don't want to deal with anyone, or anything really.
I am hesitant to check the mail because
it involves opening the front door.
I'm getting anxiety even thinking about it.
I don't want to be asleep, but
I most certainly do not want to be awake.
My phone rang,
it ended up shattered.
Please do not call me. I don't need to hear your voice.
My room is cold and I'm fucking freezing.
My greatest fear is that one day,
I'll come to the realization
that I just don't care at all.
Or rather, you actually care,
and this could be exactly what we both need.
I'm stuck. What can I say, or do?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
oh man
i feel like the wonder years are the soundtrack to my life sometimes...
"My friends all say he’s just the broke-dick version of me.
They’re just trying to help me get some sleep.
I know he’s what you need."
"My friends all say he’s just the broke-dick version of me.
They’re just trying to help me get some sleep.
I know he’s what you need."
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
and so it continues..
can i please be happy for once. this would do it.
to elaborate:
It's not like I need her to make me happy, but i just need something good to happen to me for once. And this really could turn the tides for me. She is exactly everything i look for in a female, without a doubt and i feel like this would put my mood back on track. maybe i'm being selfish, probably not.
to elaborate:
It's not like I need her to make me happy, but i just need something good to happen to me for once. And this really could turn the tides for me. She is exactly everything i look for in a female, without a doubt and i feel like this would put my mood back on track. maybe i'm being selfish, probably not.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
tonight.
i'm going to sound really sappy and corny. i already know this, so before you criticize, just know that i do know.
but we cuddled for the first time tonight and i didn't realize how perfect she would fit in my arms. i don't think anyone has fit that perfectly, ever. i just wish i could make her mine. such a dilemma. so many things. =/
but we cuddled for the first time tonight and i didn't realize how perfect she would fit in my arms. i don't think anyone has fit that perfectly, ever. i just wish i could make her mine. such a dilemma. so many things. =/
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
complacency
this is from a personal expierience i guess. although it really is true.
When you date someone for so long that you become far too comfortable with them, you get complacent and accepting of things that used to bother you. But when you start to let bigger things slide and you begin to accept a horrible attitude and verbal abuse and you don't leave the person giving the abuse, there's something wrong.
I did it. I mean, of course I still loved the person, but i didn't like her anymore, i didn't like the attitude she was growing into and the tendencies she had, but i stayed with her because i was comfortable and being single is a lot of work.
Comfort is a dangerous thing. It really is, because it let's you take so much that wouldn't get if you kept everything awkward. if someone you didn't know calls you a name or does something you don't like to you, you'll say something to them and make sure it's resolved, but if it's someone you know it's a different story. You push it aside saying, "oh that's how they are, their just jealous or worried or whatever." it's ridiculous. especially when there's someone out there who just wouldn't do those things.
obviously i am speaking from personal experience at the current time. I've learned so much from my past relationship and what to do and how not to be stupid. This girl is the first girl i met that i wanted to tell her nothing but the truth and it's weird. It's weird because i've started every relationship off with some kind of lie, Maybe i've learned my lesson, idk.
either way, i watch the things he says to her and how blatently disregards her wishes and i am in awe. i don't know, but even at my worst in a relationship, i'm still whipped and i've always been okay with that because it's who i am. but i'm watching this and it seems so one-sided. it makes me sick. i just wish she would realize....
When you date someone for so long that you become far too comfortable with them, you get complacent and accepting of things that used to bother you. But when you start to let bigger things slide and you begin to accept a horrible attitude and verbal abuse and you don't leave the person giving the abuse, there's something wrong.
I did it. I mean, of course I still loved the person, but i didn't like her anymore, i didn't like the attitude she was growing into and the tendencies she had, but i stayed with her because i was comfortable and being single is a lot of work.
Comfort is a dangerous thing. It really is, because it let's you take so much that wouldn't get if you kept everything awkward. if someone you didn't know calls you a name or does something you don't like to you, you'll say something to them and make sure it's resolved, but if it's someone you know it's a different story. You push it aside saying, "oh that's how they are, their just jealous or worried or whatever." it's ridiculous. especially when there's someone out there who just wouldn't do those things.
obviously i am speaking from personal experience at the current time. I've learned so much from my past relationship and what to do and how not to be stupid. This girl is the first girl i met that i wanted to tell her nothing but the truth and it's weird. It's weird because i've started every relationship off with some kind of lie, Maybe i've learned my lesson, idk.
either way, i watch the things he says to her and how blatently disregards her wishes and i am in awe. i don't know, but even at my worst in a relationship, i'm still whipped and i've always been okay with that because it's who i am. but i'm watching this and it seems so one-sided. it makes me sick. i just wish she would realize....
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
my 2009 top 50 artists according to last fm
1. Therefore I Am
2. Broadway Calls
3. Less Than Jake
4. We Are The Union
5. Against Me!
6. Shook Ones
7. Set Your Goals
8. Ghost Kid
9. Evergreen Terrace
10. Blank Tape
11. Four Year Strong
12. Sugar Ray
13. Dan Mangan
14. Owen
15. Paul Baribeau
16. The Weakerthans
17. This Time Next Year
18. Maylene And The Sons Of Disaster
19. Hit The Lights
20. Modest Mouse
21. A Wilhelm Scream
22. Punchline
23. Polar Bear Club
24. The Riot Before
25. Saves The Day
26. Kid Dynamite
27. Manchester Orchestra
28. Maker
29. Title Fight
30. The Wonder Years
31. Fireworks
32. Transit
33. The Gaslight Anthem
34. The Get Up Kids
35. Say Anything
36. 3OH3(really?!?!?!)
37. Alexisonfire
38. John K. Samson
39. Frank Turner
40. The Swellers
41. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
42. Man Overboard
43. Circa Survive
44. Mariachi El Bronx
45. Glassjaw
46. Joshua Radin
47. The Lonely Island
48. Crime In Stereo
49. The Ergs!
50. La Dispute
2. Broadway Calls
3. Less Than Jake
4. We Are The Union
5. Against Me!
6. Shook Ones
7. Set Your Goals
8. Ghost Kid
9. Evergreen Terrace
10. Blank Tape
11. Four Year Strong
12. Sugar Ray
13. Dan Mangan
14. Owen
15. Paul Baribeau
16. The Weakerthans
17. This Time Next Year
18. Maylene And The Sons Of Disaster
19. Hit The Lights
20. Modest Mouse
21. A Wilhelm Scream
22. Punchline
23. Polar Bear Club
24. The Riot Before
25. Saves The Day
26. Kid Dynamite
27. Manchester Orchestra
28. Maker
29. Title Fight
30. The Wonder Years
31. Fireworks
32. Transit
33. The Gaslight Anthem
34. The Get Up Kids
35. Say Anything
36. 3OH3(really?!?!?!)
37. Alexisonfire
38. John K. Samson
39. Frank Turner
40. The Swellers
41. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
42. Man Overboard
43. Circa Survive
44. Mariachi El Bronx
45. Glassjaw
46. Joshua Radin
47. The Lonely Island
48. Crime In Stereo
49. The Ergs!
50. La Dispute
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
so much for everyone- dan mangan
as much as i'd like to go
to places i've never known,
scared shitless to leave home,
and i don't want to go alone.
i miss the rewarding gaze
of a friend from my younger days,
didn't mind ‘bout my selfish ways,
as he died i was miles away.
i hope he remembers how,
as i do when i look back now,
though he'd bark at the slightest sound,
would not bite for he knew not how.
and sometimes it's more than clear,
when morning comes early here,
and i know that the day is near,
wasted days make for wasted years.
now i'm vicious with appetite,
sobering half a mind,
dripping with stolen wine,
awoken by something i dreamt.
harboured by everything i have been witnessing.
postcards and daydreaming
get less embarrassing.
after the day is done,
i will be on the run -
so much for everyone, so much for everyone.
the showdown is endless here,
under the burning sun.
as eyes roll toward me now,
i will drop my gun.
to places i've never known,
scared shitless to leave home,
and i don't want to go alone.
i miss the rewarding gaze
of a friend from my younger days,
didn't mind ‘bout my selfish ways,
as he died i was miles away.
i hope he remembers how,
as i do when i look back now,
though he'd bark at the slightest sound,
would not bite for he knew not how.
and sometimes it's more than clear,
when morning comes early here,
and i know that the day is near,
wasted days make for wasted years.
now i'm vicious with appetite,
sobering half a mind,
dripping with stolen wine,
awoken by something i dreamt.
harboured by everything i have been witnessing.
postcards and daydreaming
get less embarrassing.
after the day is done,
i will be on the run -
so much for everyone, so much for everyone.
the showdown is endless here,
under the burning sun.
as eyes roll toward me now,
i will drop my gun.
in addition
i really don't know. i just feel like, unless my hands are busy typing, i'll punch something, again sounding juvenile, yes, but true. blahblahblahblah. who gives a shit? blahblahblahblah. i most certainly do not give a shit about people anymore. seriously. i don't. no shit caring or caring about shit and shitty shit because i saw where that got me. i feel like caring just put me in a bad spot. or worrying about other people. like, if you tell me that you had a abortion, what do you want me to say to you? i'm honest, i say, "sometimes, you try so hard to act older than you actually are and you get yourself in such deep shit." so you get mad at me? obviously. so i try to show someone that i truly care about them and i'd think we'd be perfect together and i get led on to this point. to where i am ranting and making no sense and probably making a massive amount of grammatical and spelling mistakes. fuckufkcfuckeufkcufkcufckfucky
in listening to dan mangan
positivity
something I've always been a huge advocate for. i would always preach a positive lifestyle and found much in phrases like, "head above water." But i realized something huge today, or yesterday maybe. every time i decided I'm not going to care, I'm going to let go and be positive, everything goes wrong. that's what happened here. i was on the "I'm not sad anymore" kick. and it was working. i was finally feeling like i cleared a huge hurdle in my life and i was getting, although a bit wobbly, back on my feet. I woke up everyday in such a good mood. such a good mood. nothing could get to me, nothing.
In this positivity kick, something amazing happened. A girl i liked began talking to me, as juvenile as that soundsm and things weren't great but they were certainly good. i had money saved up and girl to take out and i woke up everyday with a smile on my face.
At first this girl was just a friend and that's what i saw her as. but as erin had warned me, it became more and everytime she would send me a text, i would get really excited. I took this girl out for the first time the night before thanksgiving to the movies and it ended up being a disaster. a good one. and it progressed from there. but this is where my luck would turn, because as fate would have it, i'm not allowed to stay happy for any decent amount of time. Thursday, thanksgiving, on my way to my mom's for thanksgiving i got into an accident, a semi-bad one, but my car was still driveable (with duct tape to hold the airbags in). This was the beginning.
The girl and i texted each other a lot that weekend and i even got to hang out with her on monday and tuesday and weds and friday and saturday and sunday and monday again. but in this time, she broke up with her boyfriend (oh yes, this one had a boyfriend too) got back with him was on the fence and i was in the middle. but i stuck with it, because she was amazing, and worth this craziness.
then this morning happened.
today i woke up in a terrible mood. and i said to myself, "today is going to be a terrible day." but i hoped for a win, something to boost me up. that boost didn't come, but rather a text from her boyfriend. and thus i am here. once again where i was in the past year many a times before. fucking depressed and annoyed and i just want to be with my friends until i die. i don't want to be alone in my room where all i fucking do is think and write and write and think and not make sense and talk in circles. and I FUCKING HATE BEING THIS PATHETIC. i hate how this stupid, petty, childish bullshit eats me up every FUCKING time it happens. and it always happens.
so fuck it, i really don't give a shit anymore. i'm getting out of shit jersey if it's the last thing i do. destination anywhere, anywhere at all. you all don't owe me anything and i own you nothing. it's like everything i touch now-a-days falls to fucking pieces, so i honestly don't care anymore.
i'm sure i'll think of something else once i am past this post and i'll come back and add it on. not that anyone really gives a shit anyway.
something I've always been a huge advocate for. i would always preach a positive lifestyle and found much in phrases like, "head above water." But i realized something huge today, or yesterday maybe. every time i decided I'm not going to care, I'm going to let go and be positive, everything goes wrong. that's what happened here. i was on the "I'm not sad anymore" kick. and it was working. i was finally feeling like i cleared a huge hurdle in my life and i was getting, although a bit wobbly, back on my feet. I woke up everyday in such a good mood. such a good mood. nothing could get to me, nothing.
In this positivity kick, something amazing happened. A girl i liked began talking to me, as juvenile as that soundsm and things weren't great but they were certainly good. i had money saved up and girl to take out and i woke up everyday with a smile on my face.
At first this girl was just a friend and that's what i saw her as. but as erin had warned me, it became more and everytime she would send me a text, i would get really excited. I took this girl out for the first time the night before thanksgiving to the movies and it ended up being a disaster. a good one. and it progressed from there. but this is where my luck would turn, because as fate would have it, i'm not allowed to stay happy for any decent amount of time. Thursday, thanksgiving, on my way to my mom's for thanksgiving i got into an accident, a semi-bad one, but my car was still driveable (with duct tape to hold the airbags in). This was the beginning.
The girl and i texted each other a lot that weekend and i even got to hang out with her on monday and tuesday and weds and friday and saturday and sunday and monday again. but in this time, she broke up with her boyfriend (oh yes, this one had a boyfriend too) got back with him was on the fence and i was in the middle. but i stuck with it, because she was amazing, and worth this craziness.
then this morning happened.
today i woke up in a terrible mood. and i said to myself, "today is going to be a terrible day." but i hoped for a win, something to boost me up. that boost didn't come, but rather a text from her boyfriend. and thus i am here. once again where i was in the past year many a times before. fucking depressed and annoyed and i just want to be with my friends until i die. i don't want to be alone in my room where all i fucking do is think and write and write and think and not make sense and talk in circles. and I FUCKING HATE BEING THIS PATHETIC. i hate how this stupid, petty, childish bullshit eats me up every FUCKING time it happens. and it always happens.
so fuck it, i really don't give a shit anymore. i'm getting out of shit jersey if it's the last thing i do. destination anywhere, anywhere at all. you all don't owe me anything and i own you nothing. it's like everything i touch now-a-days falls to fucking pieces, so i honestly don't care anymore.
i'm sure i'll think of something else once i am past this post and i'll come back and add it on. not that anyone really gives a shit anyway.
Monday, December 7, 2009
my favorite releases of 2009 by month. the unabridged version.
JAN:
Bruce Springsteen – Working On A Dream
FEB:
A Day To Remember - Homesick
The Loved Ones - Distractions
Two Tongues - Two Tongues
Lonely Island, The - Incredibad
Appleseed Cast, The - Sagarmatha
Minus the Bear - Acoustics
Thursday - Common Existence
MAR:
Cursive - Mama, I'm Swollen
New Found Glory - Not Without a Fight
Propagandhi - Supporting Caste
The Wonder Years / All or Nothing - Distances
Ace Enders - When I Hit the Ground
Fireworks - All I Have to Offer is My Own Confusion
Fucked Up - Year Of The Rat
APR:
Living With Lions - Dude Manor EP
Apathy Eulogy, The - Resolved to Reason
Transit - Stay Home
Poison the Well - I/III / II/III / III/III
Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything To Nothing
Meg And Dia - Here, Here, and Here
NOFX - Coaster
MAY:
Apathy Eulogy, The - Resolved To Dream
mewithoutYou - It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All a Dream! It's Alright
Tumbledown - Tumbledown
Iron and Wine - Around the Well
JUNE:
Anti-Flag - The People or the Gun
Poison the Well - The Tropic Rot
Alexisonfire - Old Crows/Young Cardinals
Hit the Lights - Coast to Coast
Maylene and the Sons of Disaster - III
Therefore I Am - The Sound of Human Lives
JULY:
Against Me! - The Original Cowboy
Owen - The Seaside EP
Portugal. The Man - The Majestic Majesty
Portugal. The Man - The Satanic Satanist
Set Your Goals - This Will Be the Death of Us
Sugar Ray - Music for Cougars
Rx Bandits - Mandala
AUG:
Modest Mouse - No One's First and You're Next
As Tall as Lions - You Can't Take it With You
Broadway Calls - Good Views, Bad News
Third Eye Blind - Ursa Major
fun. - Aim and Ignite
Mariachi El Bronx - Mariachi El Bronx
SEPT:
Chuck Ragan - Gold Country
Owl City - Ocean Eyes
Polar Bear Club - Chasing Hamburg
Every Time I Die- New Junk Aesthetic
Thrice - Beggars
Brand New - Daisy
Owen - New Leaves
Ruiner - Hell Is Empty
Evergreen Terrace - Almost Home
Langhorne Slim - Be Set Free
The Swellers - Ups and Downsizing
OCT:
Built to Spill - There Is No Enemy
Lucero - 1372 Overton Park
Strike Anywhere - Iron Front
The Mountain Goats - The Life of the World to Come
Cartel - Cycles
Russian Circles - Geneva
This Time Next Year - Road Maps and Heart Attacks
Between The Buried and Me - The Great Misdirect
John Nolan - Heights
NOV:
Say Anything - Self-Titled
The Almost - Monster Monster
Weezer - Raditude
Defeater - Lost Ground
John Mayer - Battle Studies
A Wilhelm Scream - A Wilhelm Scream EP
DEC:
Transit/Man Overboard Split 7"
We the Kings - Smile, Kid
Bruce Springsteen – Working On A Dream
FEB:
A Day To Remember - Homesick
The Loved Ones - Distractions
Two Tongues - Two Tongues
Lonely Island, The - Incredibad
Appleseed Cast, The - Sagarmatha
Minus the Bear - Acoustics
Thursday - Common Existence
MAR:
Cursive - Mama, I'm Swollen
New Found Glory - Not Without a Fight
Propagandhi - Supporting Caste
The Wonder Years / All or Nothing - Distances
Ace Enders - When I Hit the Ground
Fireworks - All I Have to Offer is My Own Confusion
Fucked Up - Year Of The Rat
APR:
Living With Lions - Dude Manor EP
Apathy Eulogy, The - Resolved to Reason
Transit - Stay Home
Poison the Well - I/III / II/III / III/III
Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything To Nothing
Meg And Dia - Here, Here, and Here
NOFX - Coaster
MAY:
Apathy Eulogy, The - Resolved To Dream
mewithoutYou - It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All a Dream! It's Alright
Tumbledown - Tumbledown
Iron and Wine - Around the Well
JUNE:
Anti-Flag - The People or the Gun
Poison the Well - The Tropic Rot
Alexisonfire - Old Crows/Young Cardinals
Hit the Lights - Coast to Coast
Maylene and the Sons of Disaster - III
Therefore I Am - The Sound of Human Lives
JULY:
Against Me! - The Original Cowboy
Owen - The Seaside EP
Portugal. The Man - The Majestic Majesty
Portugal. The Man - The Satanic Satanist
Set Your Goals - This Will Be the Death of Us
Sugar Ray - Music for Cougars
Rx Bandits - Mandala
AUG:
Modest Mouse - No One's First and You're Next
As Tall as Lions - You Can't Take it With You
Broadway Calls - Good Views, Bad News
Third Eye Blind - Ursa Major
fun. - Aim and Ignite
Mariachi El Bronx - Mariachi El Bronx
SEPT:
Chuck Ragan - Gold Country
Owl City - Ocean Eyes
Polar Bear Club - Chasing Hamburg
Every Time I Die- New Junk Aesthetic
Thrice - Beggars
Brand New - Daisy
Owen - New Leaves
Ruiner - Hell Is Empty
Evergreen Terrace - Almost Home
Langhorne Slim - Be Set Free
The Swellers - Ups and Downsizing
OCT:
Built to Spill - There Is No Enemy
Lucero - 1372 Overton Park
Strike Anywhere - Iron Front
The Mountain Goats - The Life of the World to Come
Cartel - Cycles
Russian Circles - Geneva
This Time Next Year - Road Maps and Heart Attacks
Between The Buried and Me - The Great Misdirect
John Nolan - Heights
NOV:
Say Anything - Self-Titled
The Almost - Monster Monster
Weezer - Raditude
Defeater - Lost Ground
John Mayer - Battle Studies
A Wilhelm Scream - A Wilhelm Scream EP
DEC:
Transit/Man Overboard Split 7"
We the Kings - Smile, Kid
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
well i tell the story of my life...
sometime when i'm an old man, it's going to include a lot of girls with boyfriends.
Friday, December 4, 2009
an ode to the fairly indifferent or greatly ungreatful
you keep everything close to your heart,
as i did once.
though, i have managed to keep all things far from my heart of late
thus i have become to appear a bit heartless. not dead, just cold.
but I'm no more a heartless prick than i am a product of a cold world.
you take a look around, not much has changed.
there are still kings and queens.
royalty and peasants.
masters and slaves.
this hope and change that you want so bad is never really coming.
because whenever you get ahead, people want a piece of your pie.
this is why i keep to myself.
thus i have become to appear a bit cold. not dead, just heartless.
i am great. i am amazing.
and if i keep this mindset, nothing can make me not alive.
you were a great thought. you were eyes set ablaze.
you were the greatest beacon of hope, of change.
the operative word being were.
and now as i watch, seemingly from outside my body, there is not much i can do.
all i do is keep you close to my heart. where you belong.
because I'm not going anywhere. at least not anytime soon.
and you'll realize that there's no one else. and I'll realize that this world isn't so cold.
and positivity comes back every time i see your face or hear your voice or see your smile.
so until this all comes to an end, I'll wait in limbo.
holding my drink, and waiting for my chance to sweep you off of your feet.
as i did once.
though, i have managed to keep all things far from my heart of late
thus i have become to appear a bit heartless. not dead, just cold.
but I'm no more a heartless prick than i am a product of a cold world.
you take a look around, not much has changed.
there are still kings and queens.
royalty and peasants.
masters and slaves.
this hope and change that you want so bad is never really coming.
because whenever you get ahead, people want a piece of your pie.
this is why i keep to myself.
thus i have become to appear a bit cold. not dead, just heartless.
i am great. i am amazing.
and if i keep this mindset, nothing can make me not alive.
you were a great thought. you were eyes set ablaze.
you were the greatest beacon of hope, of change.
the operative word being were.
and now as i watch, seemingly from outside my body, there is not much i can do.
all i do is keep you close to my heart. where you belong.
because I'm not going anywhere. at least not anytime soon.
and you'll realize that there's no one else. and I'll realize that this world isn't so cold.
and positivity comes back every time i see your face or hear your voice or see your smile.
so until this all comes to an end, I'll wait in limbo.
holding my drink, and waiting for my chance to sweep you off of your feet.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
a man less amused
not really alive or dead
if you watch him close, faltering
you won't see anything new
you won't see anything interesting
and such is this deformity
to consume this unfortunate man.
it is not new, nor interesting.
but consuming none the less.
so he sleepwalks through the motions
every bit of this, reminiscent.
every action like a mirror.
so close to happiness
that never comes
not really alive or dead
if you watch him close, faltering
you won't see anything new
you won't see anything interesting
and such is this deformity
to consume this unfortunate man.
it is not new, nor interesting.
but consuming none the less.
so he sleepwalks through the motions
every bit of this, reminiscent.
every action like a mirror.
so close to happiness
that never comes
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
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